Good morning one and all! After a leave of absence and a
loss of sanity I have temporarily thrown in the towel re: dissertation and
returned to my favourite hobby- dragging people around the weird and wonderful haunts
of London. Those of you with a weak constitution and/or stomach may want to
look elsewhere for culinary tip-offs. Anyone? No? Good. Read on.
ARCHIPELAGO
After reading the raving reviews on TimeOut and GLP I made a lunch booking at this restaurant, only to turn on the tv
and see it being extolled on none other than The Hairy Biker’s Best of British
programme. Sold.
We stepped into what looked like the strange tribal shop at
the beginning of the award-winning (not really) Rob Schneider classic the Hot Chick… Look, I’m not a film
critic. I could have said Harry Potter but it’s been done before. I’ll set the
scene to clarify for those of you less well educated in the world of chick
flicks.
There were knick-knacks and candles and giant fake trees at
every turn. We sat down on ornate thrones artfully strewn with cushions, whilst
being serenaded by the sweet notes of, well, bizarre tribal music. The cutlery
and crockery laid out before us was ludicrously mismatched and yet brilliant,
placed wherever there was space on the ornament-covered tables. Archipelago is
renowned for its, shall we say, exotic menu. The menus, I should mention, are
stuck to the inside of antique books or printed on scrolls encapsulated in
rustic… scroll holders. There was an extensive wine and cocktail list and a
more a la carte menu, but we went for the famous sharing platter….
Look, just bare with me. There was a time when I would have
laughed you out of the restaurant and/or screamed if you put a plate of locusts
before me. But those days are gone, and quite honestly I fancy myself as a bit
of an A. A. Gill after today’s culinary challenge. Yes, I am a fully-fledged,
insect-eating adult. My companion assumed this already to be the case, given my
recent stint around South East Asia. Frankly, the most exotic it got menu-wise
at the hostels we stayed at was the option of pineapple atop your pizza (which
I hastily declined. I’m not looking to get my five-a-day from a margherita).
Look, we’re getting off track here. The point is, I’m an adult.
Crocodile, kangaroo, alpaca. All responsibly sourced
(although I doubt this stuff came from a farm in Devon) and no, it doesn’t
taste like chicken. But it was wonderful. The crispy breaded croco was
fantastic, and the kangaroo tasted like steak in a rich, flavoursome sauce. The
dishes came with two dipping sauces, coconut rice, green mango noodles and
salad. Sure, there were crickets in the salad. Why not? Morrison’s could learn
a thing or two from these guys. The insects are baked and dehydrated, making them
extra crunchy. Fun fact: insects are ridiculously high in protein (counteracted
slightly by the amount of sweet chilli I drowned them in. Better safe than
sorry). In all seriousness, the food was delicious
and very filling.
At just £15 per person, this is one of the funnest
(pretending that’s a word) and probably most daring bargain lunches I’ve had-
and it’s right in the centre of London. Plus, you’re allowed to walk around
with a smug grin on your face for the remainder of the day- knowing you have an
incredibly mature, diverse and multi-cultural palette. Well done you.
108 Whitfield Street, W1T 5EE
Tel: 020 7383 3346
A 3 minute walk from Warren Street or Goodge Street tube
stations
Open for LUNCH Mon-Fri 12.00 - 14.15, DINNER Mon-Sat 18.00- 22.15
Best to book in advance as it’s tiny!
ps: to go and walk off all that crocodile, why not have a
stroll around the Saatchi Gallery? I realise this isn’t exactly a genius
suggestion concerning a little-known place in need of review from a clueless non-expert
of the art world. But hey, sharing is caring. Here’s what we saw, and it didn’t
cost a penny...
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